Cuz.........I saw this posted on an online profile for our current POTUS
(including some borderline racist stuff in it too)
This is Donald Trump and I am a very dangerous man. I should have been locked up along being your the-Brat Girl (J.B.). Let me be candid and truthful for the first time in my life. Because Brat-Girl and me are close, she will keep my secrets. Gee, you supporters of mine are as dumb as a rock, you are. Well you know that story that I liked to tell over and over again on the campaign trail, called the women and the snake? That is my favorite story. It has been sort of a private joke between me and my best friend dictator Putin. You all laughed with me and listened to the story, but what you did not know was that the snake in the story was me and the women is the voters. Ha ha. Isn't that cute? Oh, what's with the long face? Why so glum? You knew I was a snake when you took me in, ha ha. I expect that I will be charged soon by Robert Mueller. That should not come as a surprise at all. It is! Well how about that! Maybe you should not believe the-lies of the snake. You see I have been a totally-corrupt-crook-my entire life. That's just what I do. What do you expect from the spawn of-Satan? I have a perfect plan though. A plan that will keep me in charge for the rest of my life. The plan was given to me by my good friend the dictator Mr. Putin, who by the way has the goods on me. It goes like this. You know the military parade I am going to give myself to give me a hard-on? Well after the parade I am going to order the army in the parade to take over the capital. I am the Commander in Chief after all. Yes that's right, you will never impeach me. I will always be yours. Think of it, no more constitution. No more congress and supreme court. There will only be Trump law in the land. Weee! I am mad don't you know? Just crazy as a-damn-loon. You supporters are dumb as a rock, you are. When I become the unimpeachable one. I will have a new flag with a big T on it, and I will call the new land, the kingdom of Trump. Or the United States of Trump Utopia. Madness isn't it? Well that's me you get what you pay for. And are you ever going to pay! Ha ha ha ha. You know when I am called Lord Don the Magnificent. That's what you had better call me. I think I will tear down the old dump white house and build a new trump palace instead. Out with the dust of history and in with the new. My new house will be more beautiful then the Kremlin. Just my daughter Ivanka and my trophy token Melania.